I decided to scrounge around in the freezer and start using up last years produce. I found some white peaches and decided to try this cake. It was good, but I think the peaches were too soft a fruit to go into this recipe. Next time I will try apples or fresh pineapple.
"Gather ye rose-buds while ye may." Robert Herrick
Hello Friends!
Friends, Romans, countrymen...y'all. Foodies, gardeners, artists and collectors - let's gather together to share and possibly learn a thing or two in the mix.
Donna Baker
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
Spring Break
Spring break has finally come and gone. Bella came to the farm for the week. Here she is trying to pick up one of the baby chicks we bought. There were a couple of warm days before another winter blast. But, we did have a blast - right through the wall and door of our garage with our ATV Ranger. I didn't know they were that powerful. We screamed but were unhurt. Not so much for the garage.
I am still trying to get the house back together and cleaned up. My son came home from college to stay and my daughter came down with my three year old grandson. We installed a new trampoline, our third. The directions said it would take 45 minutes for two people to erect, yet it took us two days. All had fun, but now, I think I need a spring break.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Tea
Just a heads up - the health experts say we should drink hibiscus tea daily. Though hibiscus is listed as the first ingredient, it does taste of raspberry and is so good and good for you. A win win.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Ashes and Snow
I got this dvd for Christmas. I knew it was about interactions between humans and animals. Performance art? Someone's dreams? A zen-like koan? I don't know. But you need to watch this. A bit of heaven on earth.
Serendipity
I purchased this print years before I ever saw the neighbors horses much less started caring for them. Gracie (who wasn't even born yet) looks like the white one and Brownie has a blaze on her forehead and looks just like the brown horse. Isn't the world strange and fascinating? Have things like this happened to you?
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Horse Slaughter
Oklahoma (and the UDSA) are getting ready to pass laws for horse slaughter. I called my congressmen and their lame excuse was that it was humane for all the poor abandoned horses. Horseshit! Many stand to profit off the backs of horses or they wouldn't be doing it. Go after the losers that have abandoned them. Nevertheless, they told me it was going to happen. Makes me sick. Please call your state and federal legislators and tell them no. Many voices will be heard. It is the only way we're going to stop this. Time is of the essence.
Gracie thinks this is unconscionable too and the Humane Society agrees. The Humane Society said 90% of all horses sent to slaughter are healthy. The ASPCA says horse slaughter is horribly cruel.
Gracie thinks this is unconscionable too and the Humane Society agrees. The Humane Society said 90% of all horses sent to slaughter are healthy. The ASPCA says horse slaughter is horribly cruel.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Remember When
Remember when our towns were smaller and had a main drag? On every street children were outside playing, skating or riding around on bikes, jumping on a pogo stick or walking on stilts. When I go to the city these days, I don't see kids outside playing. Too busy with school and activities? Too many bad people? On their iPhone and computer games perhaps? Even my own grown children are always looking at their cell phones. I now hear that email is out, people just want to text. What will be the result of this kind of faceless interaction? I'm just sayin'...
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Parade's End Trailer (HBO MiniSeries - 2013)
If you didn't get enough of Downton Abbey, HBO has a miniseries out now, Parade's End. The same era as Downton, it has some of my favorite English actors. Anne Marie Duff, Benedict Cumberbatch, Rufus Sewel - they just don't get any better. I have followed Anne Marie Duff since she acted as Queen Elizabeth I with Tom Hardy in The Consort - The Virgin Queen. It is one of my favorite movies. Rufus Sewell was in The Pillars of The Earth and Benedict Cumberbatch is in just about everything of late.
Beautifully filmed with sumptuous locales and interiors; it has it all.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
A Walk
As I walked by myself
And talked to myself
Myself said unto me
Look to thyself
Take care of thyself
Ask none to take care of thee.
- Old English rhyme
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Bye Bye Birdie
How did an ornery ole bird steal my heart? Can't be that can opener of a beak that has drawn my blood more times than one could imagine. He could bark like the dogs only louder if you can believe it. But, then he'd say, "good bird". Yet, we two got used to each other. My little buddy stole my heart and I guess he loved me too in his own birdy way. We'd sing together. He loved a song I made up and sang to him each morning. "It's a Birdie kind of day...it's a Birdie kind of day ay ay. Just a singin' and a preenin' and a wingin' in a Birdie kind of way..." He loved to sit on my shoulder and blog with me. Hated water though I made him take a shower with me from time to time. He thought he was king of the manor - lorded over the dogs and cats and us. Loved popcorn, blueberries and macaroni. He woke me up last week right before he left on a journey. Don't think my heart can break many more times from the loss of my pets. Oh Birdie, I'll miss you so.
"Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince. And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."
Shakespeare
And I can just hear Birdie's loud squawk above the angel voices.
Dandelion Greens
While most gardeners are already wringing their hands about how to banish those loathsome weeds from their lawns and gardens, I ordered some dandelion seed from Pinetree Gardens and Seeds. You see, dandelion greens and roots make the most delicious salads, tinctures, tea and jellies, liqueurs and cordials too. Not only tasty, but very healthy for you. Smoke that in your pipe; oh no, I don't know if that is legal or not. By the way, I am already gnashing my teeth about crabgrass.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Downton Abbey Blues
This Sunday is the last installment of season 3 of Downton Abbey. Not only have I been watching this season, but I have also been catching up on seasons 1 and 2, though not in order. It has been all Downton since January. I am going to go through withdrawals. Let's hope they don't take too long to put out season 4. I am such a fan.
Peter Beard
Peter Beard. I've been a fan for a long time. I recently saw a short interview on another blog with Lee Radziwill. She spoke of Peter. He is endlessly fascinating, (moreso, I propose, than Hemingway). You hear the phrase, a man's man. Well, I say that Mr. Beard is a woman's man.
Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Peter attended Yale as a pre-med student, but quickly learned he wasn't interested in it. Photography, journaling and art were his passions and he pursued them to the nth degree. He was the darling of the jet set - Capote, Warhol, the Kennedy clan, Mick Jagger et al. He was once married to Cheryl Tiegs. But, his love and passion was for Africa and her animals. He met Karen Blixen (Isak Dinesen) and bought land next to hers. Though wealthy, he railed against Western capitalism and its effects on Africa.
Whether being trampled by an elephant, posing with crocodiles, painting with his own blood, or photographing the world, Beard has lived life to the fullest - more than most I suppose.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Who Knew?
Will wonders never cease? It seems George W. Bush had a side no one knew about. His portrait of his beloved Barney was published recently. I think it is good and the President could benefit greatly from some formal training. Guess the peevishness and the 'doesn't suffer fools gladly' attitude was because of his creative side. Go George.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Half Empty/Half Full
One of my favorite books is CANDIDE by Voltaire. While staying in St-Germain-des-Pres in Paris, I had to go aound the corner and have a look at the building where Voltaire lived and died. It is on the left bank of the Seine. Just for a little backstory, Voltaire, the great French philosopher, amassed a library of more than 21,000 books with his favorite subjects being metaphysics, moral philosophy, physics, history, critical deism... He wrote his satire, CANDIDE, in 1759, during the Age of Enlightenment. It was considered his magnum opus.
Voltaire rejected a common theory of the time, that "all is for the best in the best of all possible worlds." He argued that this theory of optimism was wrong - that if this were the best possible world, then it would surely be better than it is, citing natural disasters, war, catastrophes etc. Thus, Candide was born of Voltaire's writings and discussions on this subject.
Candide did set out and travel the world, full of hope and optimism, looking for the good in man. An epic journey, the end finds Candide returning home, "to cultivate his garden." I won't give more away than that.
And, about another modern credo, the glass is either half empty or half full, I've always said, it's half. Guess that makes me a realist.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Cat Study
I am sure you have heard of the latest study saying cats kill billions of birds and small animals. My cats drag in animals and birds. Yet, I am certain that humans kill more animals than all the animals in the world combined. Windows kill more birds than animals do. One could go on and on. So it makes me wonder who funded this study and what their agenda is. Where are The Lone Gunmen when you need them? By the way, the sweetest cat on earth, Boo, Teddy's brother, just wants to be tickled. Nothing more.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Bonnie Raitt - You Got to Know How
Sippy Wallace was born in 1898 and was one of the original performers of the blues. I got to thinking they don't make them like that anymore, but they are still amongst us. Bonnie Raitt. They just don't get any better. This song is Sippy's and Bonnie does it great. To see Sippy perform live, and with Bonnie, go to Youtube. It is the perfect song for your Valentine.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Strawberry Lemon Marmalade
What to do with all my citrus. Besides juicing it, I made strawberry lemon marmalade.
Here is a small corner of my greenhouse. Someone please stop me.
This is about 1/4 of all my citrus. I'm afraid I am going to burn out my electric juicer.
Blood oranges, Meyer, Etrog, Ponderosa lemons, and tangerines too.
Finally. Need to get some English muffins as I think they would be perfect for the marmalade.
Strawberry Lemon Marmalade
1 cup thinly sliced lemon peel
2 cups lemon pulp, chopped
4 cups crushed strawberries
1 (1 1/2 oz.) powdered pectin
1 tb. lemon juice
6 cups sugar
1. Place lemon peel and pulp in a pot with just enough water to cover. Bring to a boil and simmer 5 minutes.
2. Turn off heat. Cover and let sit for 12 - 18 hours. Drain water.
3. Combine peel and pulp, strawberries, pectin and juice in a large pot. Bring to a boil. Add sugar, stirring until dissolved.
4. Bring to a roiling boil. Boil hard 1 minute, stirring constantly.
5. Remove from heat. Skim foam if necessary.
6. Ladle hot marmalade into jars, leaving 1/4" headspace.
7. Makes 9 half pints.
I also made a blood orange, lemon and raspberry marmalade. I didn't boil the pulp with the peels this time and I think it made the marmalade a tad too acidic. It's good now though.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Sundance Film Festival
I love the Sundance Film Festival. So many good films, many of which we'd never see without their showing at Sundance. Last year brought BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD. A year or two ago it was WINTER'S BONE. My own son-in-law Matt, entered a short film for this years festival, but didn't make the cut.
I have written about Gael Garcia Bernal before (you can type in his name in upper left corner). He is an incredible actor, director, producer... Acting with the likes of Robert De Niro, Brad Pitt, Daniel Day Lewis and Cate Blanchett, he is a phenom in so many areas. He played a young Che Gueverra in THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES, and in one of my favorites, Y tu MAMA TAMBIEN. You need to google him to find out more about this amazing man. His latest, WHO IS DAYANI CRISTAL is showing at Sundance.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Face The Wind
Seasons of change
Nature waits
The animals face the wind
Donna B. Shaw
The genesis of this painting was the approach of winter and the hardships that come with it. Then, I wrote the haiku and it morphed into the future animals face, with human over-population, the loss of habitat and environment, extinctions, critical mass, etc., etc.
The genesis of this painting was the approach of winter and the hardships that come with it. Then, I wrote the haiku and it morphed into the future animals face, with human over-population, the loss of habitat and environment, extinctions, critical mass, etc., etc.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Winter Wonderland
Winter wonderland - Ha.
I wish I could go out and play, alas, I'll have to be content to count the minutes until spring has sprung. Can you tell I don't like winter? My husband says, "you don't like summer either," but that's not true. I don't like it when it is 115 degrees and hasn't rained for months, but this time of year, even that sounds good.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Blackeyed Peas and Hoppin' John
Re-posted from 2009
One of the few things left in my vegetable garden are black eyed peas. Notice the deer also enjoy them and have snapped the pea vines off. I posted this recipe around the new year and it is called Hoppin' John. I can't remember why it is called that; guess John was so happy the deer didn't eat all of his peas that he hopped around and did a jig. This recipe is a variation and could be eaten as a meal instead of a side dish. Very southern!
Hoppin' John
Boil Lundberg's brown rice. This brown rice is to die for. It is the brown rice that P.F. Chang's uses. Next add a ham hock or some bacon (no I don't eat mammals) to a saucepan with the peas and boil until peas are tender. In yet another pan, (I'm sorry but this dish is worth it) fry okra breaded in cornmeal and flour then drain on a paper towel. Now, cut a tomato into a small dice. Also a few green scallions, or as many as you like. Experiment. Don't forget to salt and pepper according to taste. Assemble dish - rice, peas on top with a spoonful of juice and some pork, tomatoes next then scallions topped with the fried okra. Splash with Louisiana hot sauce. Enjoy!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Old Boxes
I like old boxes. I do not know why. This old document box is well, rustic, but it had my initials in nailheads on the curved top. Dating from the early 1800's, these boxes were hauled around in wagons and carriages, holding legal documents, perhaps the family bible, etc. It is decorated with nailheads, deer skin and brass and iron locks and handles. I don't know when the pretty blue paper was added, but it is heavy. The bird of paradise does not show up well in this picture. Would have been wonderful to find old photos and paperwork.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Christmas Boots
Look what the cat dragged in or what I found in the top of my closet. I can't believe I wore them. I am blushing.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Catdog
Here lies Teddy, playing in the asparagus patch, posing of course. Named after a teddy bear, he is the most cuddly, lovable, friendly and best all-around cat on the planet. Really, more dog-like than a cat, all he wants to do is play or cuddle up to us and our dogs. As a teeny little baby, he would run out from the barn to greet us on our four wheelers. After an abscess and subsequent neutering, he came to live up at the house with us.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
The Wonder
We have all seen one - or thousands really. Murmurations - when birds gather in flight - for some unknown reason. One of the most beautiful and wondrous sights on this Earth.
At my Peaceable Hill Farm, I think all the murmurations are done for the year. The birds have flown south to warmer climes to overwinter. Hope to see them next year.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Gee Thanks!
I'm not high maintenance. Yes, I dream of a Van Cleef and Arpels Alhambra necklace and Birkin bags, a Stella McCartney blouse. Dream mind you. I'm too cheap. I am a little fussy (oc) about small things though. My closet hangers are one of those small things. I like nice hangers, thin with suede covering in a certain color. My housekeeper fished an armload of these ghastly old, dusty things out of a dumpster at a retirement home and brought them to me as she decided I needed them. Mind you, she would be very insulted and hurt if I told her I didn't want them. I grit my teeth every time I see them. I am going to draw the line at crocheted kleenex box holders and toilet paper covers. Wouldn't they make a perfect dirty Santa gift? The hangers are going to slowly disappear.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Turkeys
In blogland, I can go to the most beautiful and wonderful places that I have never been to before - castles by the sea, coastal Wales, the south of France... And then there is my home on Peaceable Hill Farm.
I rarely get to travel. I have to stay home and care for all of the animals. I've done it to myself. I cannot imagine living on the farm without them. That is, except for the turkeys. Filthy beasts! My toms have gotten aggressive of late. Two of the boys are real meanies. One sneaked up behind me yesterday and gave me a hard, wrenching bite on the leg. They are very lucky I don't eat my animals or they would be on the turkey platter for Thanksgiving.
As I lay on the ground, snapping pictures and trying to keep the gobblers at bay, my teenie weenie Emmy, came up and planted a big kiss on my mouth. Guess what it reeked of? You know.
My castle by the sea......
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Thanksgiving
What to do for individual salt and pepper cellars for Thanksgiving? Pink Himalayan salt and freshly ground peppercorns in walnut shells. How is that for recycling? Maybe make up for the pepper flown in from Indonesia and the salt from Nepal. Hope you and your loved ones have a wonderful day as you gather to give thanks.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Caramels
With the holidays fast approaching, (where did October go?) I am going to be re-running some recipes. This recipe for caramels, made in the microwave, is to die for. I have never had better, anywhere. No candy thermometer testing, nor testing for hard-ball stage and no stirring for long periods of time. Compare this recipe to the one in the December issue of Martha Stewart's LIVING magazine. Also, I'll point out Smitten Kitchen's recent post on caramels. You will have to trust me on this one. I have dipped the caramels halfway up with melted chocolate, added walnuts and sprinkled fleur de sel on them, but I prefer them plain. Quick. Easy. Delicious. What's not to love?
Microwave Caramels
Nonstick or buttered foil
1 cup butter (no substitutions)
2 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1 cup light Karo syrup
1 14oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp. vanilla
Line a 9x9 inch baking pan with nonstick foil or buttered foil, allowing edges to hang over sides of pan; set aside.
In a large microwave-safe bowl combine butter, brown sugar, corn syrup, and condensed milk; cover loosely with parchment paper. Microwave on 100% power (high) for 4 or 5 minutes (4 min. will be softer). I couldn't find the wattage on my microwave, but I believe it to be fairly high since I usually don't heat things as long as instructions call for. So this recipe would work on high wattage microwave ovens. Whisk to combine mixture. Microwave on high for 4 or 5 minutes more. Whisk well. Microwave an additional 4 or 5 minutes. Whisk gently. Add vanilla. Pour caramel mixture into the prepared pan. Chill or let cool for 1 to 1 1/2 hours or until just firm. Using foil, lift block of caramel from the pan. Use a buttered knife to cut into 1 inch squares. Wrap individually with plastic wrap or waxed paper. Store at room temperature for up to 2 weeks. Makes 2 3/4 pounds. Voila!
Here are a couple of tips. I butter the foil in the pan and for extra decadence, use Meyerberg's Goat Butter. Martha said that is all she now uses for baking. I wrap them in waxed paper. Once, I wrapped them in individual candy wrappers and it all stuck to the paper. Had to throw it in the trash.
Here are a couple of tips. I butter the foil in the pan and for extra decadence, use Meyerberg's Goat Butter. Martha said that is all she now uses for baking. I wrap them in waxed paper. Once, I wrapped them in individual candy wrappers and it all stuck to the paper. Had to throw it in the trash.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Run Gracie Run
Gracie has been coddled and spoiled and has grown into a very large mare. At four years of age, she now has her monthly estrus and has become pushy, headstrong and domineering. Who is she trying to dominate? Me. She bit me. If you've never been bitten by a horse, it is akin to childbirth. I was told this by another who has had the badge. I say a badge, because it was a terrible black bruise to my upper arm that after two months, I can still see the remnants of. I immediately went to buy four books on horses and their training and quickly realized that I didn't have the experience nor ability to train her.
A blog friend, Julie, from Equus Villa Farm, is a professional dressage teacher/competitor and she gave some sage advice to me. Gracie is considered a semi-wild horse and without professional training, she could end up in a slaughter house some day. To make a long story short, Gracie has been at the horse trainer's for two weeks with two more to go. She will be learning her manners; hopefully become respectful to humans. I don't expect any more from her than that. Since she will probably outlive me, I want her to be adoptable one day. She is a good girl. Just never had any lessons. Can't wait till she comes home.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Birds Of A Feather
Blame it on Marie Antoinette. When the vain queen wore feathers in her hat, one woman's whim became a trend that lasted more than a century and practically decimated avian populations. According to a 1913 study by the director of the New York Zoological Park; in 1911, the feathers of 129,186 egrets, 13,598 herons, 20,698 birds of paradise, 41,090 hummingbirds, 9,464 eagles, condors and other birds of prey, and 9,472 other birds were sold at auction in London for the millinery trade. And that's 11 years after the first American animal protection law - the Lacey Act of 1900 - was passed. And, those numbers were for one year. Unimaginable.
For those of you that watch the wonderful Downton Abbey, you'll notice the feathered hats worn by the manor born.
For those of you that watch the wonderful Downton Abbey, you'll notice the feathered hats worn by the manor born.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Parisian Pooches
Parisians love their dogs. You see them out and about with them everywhere. Once, I traveled from Paris to London and there was not a dog in sight. Now I know Londoners love dogs. I asked someone where the dogs were and was told it is too stressful in London for dogs.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Cat Days Of Summer
It's a hard job, but somebody has to do it. Buzzy found a good spot to nap for these waning days of summer.
A small note here - this dinosaur is made from an old Ford truck. Buzzy was that last surviving kitten from a litter at the barn. A raccoon got the rest and I couldn't leave him to suffer the same fate.
A small note here - this dinosaur is made from an old Ford truck. Buzzy was that last surviving kitten from a litter at the barn. A raccoon got the rest and I couldn't leave him to suffer the same fate.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Fall Baking
My daughter made this decadent cake some time ago and I just had to share it with you. Rich, dense and delicious, put this one on your list.
SALTED CARAMEL CAKE
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. sea salt
1 stick unsalted butter - room temperature
1 cup plus 2 TB. brown sugar
2 large eggs - room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup buttermilk
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour 2 regular sized cake pans. In a bowl, combine flour, baking powder and sea salt. Set aside. In a bowl with an electric mixer, cream butter and brown sugar until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time and mix until well incorporated then add vanilla. Alternately add flour mixture and buttermilk, making sure that each is incorporated before adding the next. Divide the mixture evenly into the cake pans. After adding the filling mixture below, bake until a toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean.
SALTED CARAMEL FILLING
1/2 c. sugar
3 tbs. salted butter
1/4 cup heavy cream
In a large pot, melt sugar by itself over medium heat until it begins to melt. Gently whisk. Add the butter and mix until it begins to melt then incorporate heavy cream. The mixture will begin to foam. Continue to whisk until the sauce is thickened. Remove from heat and cool. Drop the filling by teaspoonfuls over both cake layers pressing the mixture gently down into the batter.
SALTED CARAMEL BUTTER CREAM FROSTING
1/4 cup sugar
2 tbs. water
1/4 cup heavy cream
1 tsp. vanilla
2 sticks butter, one unsalted and the other salted
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
In a saucepan, combine sugar and water and bring to a boil. Cook without stirring until it starts turning a deep brown. Remove from heat and very slowly add the cream and vanilla. Lightly mix until the mixture is smooth. Allow the caramel to cool for about 20 minutes, but make sure it doesn't harden. In a mixer, beat the butter and salt until fluffy. Slow the mixer speed and add the powdered sugar until combined. Using a spatula, scrape the sides of bowl and add caramel. Mix, then ice the cake.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Small Things
Why am I enamored with small things, like this teeny flatware? Or, a stack of these old penny candy bags used in a general store from long ago. Perhaps I like miniaturized things because they are easier to find space for, you know,not bigger than a breadbasket. I have finally reached the stage in life that I never believed I'd reach. I believe I need to purge my environs; take Mies Van der Rohes' (Bauhaus aesthetic) advice that "less is more". Sometimes I think I would like to build a modern house, get rid of everything and start anew with a few classic, good pieces. Young women take heed [this bit of advice] save your money! You don't need most of the stuff you gather for the next few decades. It will begin to suffocate you; worry you, weigh you down until you finally reach the age where you don't care about it at all anymore and by then you will have accumulated houses full, barns full, etc. I don't know everything, but I do know this young ladies and gentlemen. Save your hard earned money! I would have been a multi-millionaire by now had someone told me this way back when...
Friday, August 17, 2012
Actius Luna
This is a gouache of a Luna moth I did some time ago. I painted it from an actual deceased moth I found outside. What is really interesting is that when we built our house 29 years ago, we cleared out a thicket wreathed in oak trees. That summer, and every year since then, in the side yard, Luna moths return to the same exact place, fat white bodies full of eggs. How in the world these future offspring/eggs know where to return each summer is simply unimaginable to me.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Chicken Art
I love this modern art oil painting. I got it years ago at a flea market. Signed by North in 1957, I find it amazing though obviously not professionally done. From the oval shape in the center to the diamond shaped ground and seeds; the composition intrigues me. It was probably done as a class study. I would love to take classes in modern art. My brain would rail against it, but oh, what fun.
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